Do you still have your period?
one might say we're banned from that church
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
