Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
