I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
being pregnant is like rehab
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
