Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
