i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
