why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
