I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
