I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
