I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
