that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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