Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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