oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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