I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
