Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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