I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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