he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
