I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
