Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
