I've blown a few things in my day
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
