and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This is the prime rib incident all over again
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
