Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
