I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
