just come out here and I will go home with you...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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