This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
