I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
