just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Enjoy the penises
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
