I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
