I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
