Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
