I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
