This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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