Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
