The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Ketchup is God's man juice
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
