Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
