He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
