So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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