Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
