Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
