watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
