Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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