Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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