He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
