you guys were way drunker than both of me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
