either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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