whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
