I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Text me some of your sweat
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
