yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
