the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
