He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
