whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
