Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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