No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
