That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
