the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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